The real meaning of radical? (Andrew Wooding)

Andrew Wooding asks what it really means to be radical.

I don't know about you, but when I hear a word too many times in quick succession, it starts to lose its meaning for me. It becomes just a sound or a noise. Try it yourself! Pick any word ('hospital', say) and repeat it to yourself over and over. At some point you will stop thinking of a medical building where sick people go for treatment, and you will hear just a succession of sounds and syllables that don't mean a thing.

Olde FriarsThis very nearly happened to me at a meeting of fresh expressions practitioners a few weeks ago. One of the buzz words was 'radical' and I heard it so often, from so many people, that I started to wonder what it meant.

I once heard a church leader say that one of his church's core values was to be 'radical'. When a number of other churches followed his church's example, he felt deeply uncomfortable at no longer being the most radical church in his network and decided to make his church even more 'radical' – out-radicalling those new upstart radicals!

But what did 'radical' actually look like in his church? Was it the fact that their music was louder and more 'out there'? Was it the fact that they showed controversial film clips, booked provocative speakers or tried to be headline-grabbing? Was their clothing slightly different – more cutting edge? Be honest: is that sort of thing really radical?

A page on Share, God seeks to transforms society, stresses the importance of being radical, and poses the questions: 'Are fresh expressions radical enough?' and 'Will fresh expressions as a whole develop in a socially conservative or radical direction?' The page name-drops JustChurch in Bradford where, as part of their worship, members write letters on behalf of pressure groups such as Amnesty International.

Is JustChurch's music loud and different? I don't know. Are they radical in their dress, language or choice of visual aids? I haven't visited, so I'm really not sure. What I do know is that they believe God can truly make a difference on all levels in this society and make time to express this in a practical way.

Maybe in a society where so many individuals struggle with self-worth and acceptance, a community that simply seeks to be nice to people is radical … that values people for who they are, rather than what they can contribute to 'our fresh expressions project'.

One fresh expressions practitioner in London describes himself as counter-cultural. He expresses this by humbly opening up his house to people to hang out and relax, in a city where not many homes are open or welcoming. Not very controversial or out there, is it – but radical? I think so.

What does it mean to be radical for Jesus? What does it look like in our fresh expressions to be socially radical, trying to bring about change for the better in society? How far do we go with being theologically radical? In short: what, in God's kingdom, is the real meaning of radical?

Evangelism – no more going-it-alone (Andrew Wooding)

Andrew Wooding discusses evangelism.

Mention the word 'evangelism' to the average person and it will likely conjure up images of the lone evangelist on the street corner handing out tracts, a besuited man on a soapbox spouting forth at Speakers' Corner in Hyde Park, or the international speaker striding energetically across a stage at an evangelistic rally.

Group of legsBut just as God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone', it might also be true to say that 'It is not good for evangelists to be alone'. Indeed, there is a page on Share about this very subject: God works through communities, which urges that 'Communities should be at the heart of mission'.

I am a trained evangelist and I confess that I have done my share of lone evangelism. Talks at school assemblies. Parachuting into mission situations to 'do my thing' then parachuting out again. Hospital or door-to-door visiting. That sort of thing.

So I am attracted to this idea that the life of a community shows God to the world, rather than any individual. As the hymn goes: 'They shall know we are Christians by our love'. In a society where there is so much distrust for words, our relationships could speak volumes.

But how does this work in practice? How exactly can a community be evangelistic? Does this mean you now have lots of people on that street corner handing out tracts? Does your Christian community try and stand on that soapbox at Speakers' Corner – bit of a tight fit. And do you appear together on that stage at the evangelistic rally, all talking at once?

I'm exaggerating, but the gist of my question is: if our community is to be evangelistic, how can it be lived out in public in full sight of people outside the community? How can we stop our community becoming closed and cliquey, happening behind locked doors purely for our own benefit?

The Bridge - pint in a pubI know of a group of Christians in Sheffield who meet each week in a pub for Bible study and prayer. They could have booked a function room, but instead they meet round a table in the main drinking area in full view of everyone. Over the months and years, this has led to trust and respect from the regulars, and lots of conversations.

Also, what implication does this way of thinking have on our churches? Traditionally, they have equipped individuals to do evangelism. If they sent out communities to do evangelism, would these communities form the core of new congregations? As it says in God works through communities: 'Instead of "Sunday" church being about sending individuals into the world from Monday to Saturday, fresh expressions can be understood as the sending of tiny communities into the world.'

Maybe you disagree, or have some practical advice from your own experience that you would like to Share with myself and others. If so, a comment left at the end of this blog would be much appreciated!

Helping others to pray (Steven Croft)

Steven Croft reflects on helping others to pray.

Two men prayingOne of the major public themes of 2007 was prayer. As I watched the news I was moved again and again by a rising tide of prayer vigils and special events around major crises and tragedies. The word prayer was on the lips of politicians, public figures and celebrities more often than I can remember. Themes of faith and hope intertwine in the single released by X Factor winner Leon Jackson. ‘When You Believe’, currently at the top of the UK singles chart.

In November, Tear Fund released the results of a major survey to mark Global Poverty Week: ‘Prayer in the UK: Be part of a miracle’.  They discovered that 20 million adults in the UK pray regularly. All of them find it helpful. At least half believe that prayer makes a difference in their lives, in the lives of their families and friends and in the life of the world: prayer changes things. Encouraging people to pray as part of their response to global poverty strikes a chord.

A large number of different research strands now demonstrate that Britain is becoming a more spiritual place again. A growing section of our population is more open to experience of God; more open to prayer. That trend has been building for a number of years and probably has some way still to go. The ministry of spiritual directors is in great demand from those who are not regular churchgoers as well as those who are. Retreat centres and religious communities are attracting a growing number of visitors. This search for spiritual experience and connection showed itself again over Christmas in attendance at church and cathedral services.

Candle in front of sheetMission is finding out what God is doing and joining in. So if part of what God is doing is stirring people to pray, how can we as a church look to join in what God is doing and support this vast number of people in their prayers?

First, I think we need to recognise honestly that many of us within the church are starting a long way back in this respect. Our services are no longer recognised by many as places of spiritual depth and encounter with God. John Drane has argued for some years that we have become a ‘secular’ church in a ‘spiritual’ society. In many churches of all traditions there may be little expectation of encountering God through public worship, in the ministry of the word or in any other way. We need to clear away the clutter at the start of a new year, not just in the space we use for worship (though that is important), but in our liturgy and songs, and especially in our notices.  Silence and space to be open to God and respond to God’s grace will be vital. Whether our meeting place is an ancient chapel, a school hall or a café, will those who gather find a sense of reverence and of God’s presence in our midst?

Second, we need I think to work on creating particular times and spaces and symbolic actions to help people to pray. Discovering these will only come about through listening to what people find helpful and a sense of experiment. These opportunities to pray seem to work best when they are offered in a way which is open and available to people to join in as they feel is right. However, it is also important to provide help and support in terms of the words and actions used. We are too used, I think, to the idea that prayer together is about sitting or kneeling in a pew with head bowed and eyes closed while someone at the front reads prepared intercessions.

Many established congregations and fresh expressions of church are now experimenting with prayer stations: different points in a building where people can come and pray in a range of ways which engage the senses. These stations have been traditionally part of cathedrals and churches in a more catholic tradition for many years and are a very good example of the ancient-future dynamic at work in fresh expressions of church. For all or part of the service, the congregation move around these different stations and engage with them in prayers of confession or intercession or silent reflection. There may be at each station a symbolic action such as lighting a candle, placing a stone on a cairn or making the sign of the cross with water. There may be the opportunity for laying on of hands or anointing for healing and grace.

Yellow candleMoving to the prayer station and engaging in these simple actions or using the words provided engages people in prayer and offers them words and actions which articulate in a deep way the spiritual longing inside them. Shaping these prayer stations draws out new gifts of creativity in those who develop them. Sometimes they can be permanent and occupy a corner of the church for a season for all who come in and use the building. Sometimes they are just for one moment or occasion.  They can be helpful in ordinary times of thanksgiving and intercession but also immensely powerful in a time of shared grief, intercession or tragedy.

One of the most memorable acts of worship I shared in 2007 was at the Portsmouth Diocesan Conference where a fresh expression of church called the Friday Fridge led the conference in Compline entirely through the use of prayer stations and static displays. Every part of the order of service was used. The act of worship was profoundly engaging. Some people moved around in silence. Others talked to each other as they explored the different parts of the service. Many different gifts were used in preparing the worship. For me, a traditional liturgy I have always loved was given new depth and meaning.

Make it one of your resolutions for 2008 to find out how people outside your church community say their prayers and how you can help and support them in their journey.

A time for thinking ahead (Andrew Wooding)

BaubleAndrew Wooding thinks ahead.

As I write these words, we are nearing the end of Advent, a time of waiting and preparation and looking ahead. Most of my preparation the last few weeks has involved editing, laying out and adding pages to the Starting and growing section. If you've been eagle-eyed recently, you might have seen pages appearing and changing (and sometimes disappearing) each time you visited the site.

I am happy to say that, just days before Advent is over, Starting and growing is now uploaded. But that doesn't mean that preparation and looking ahead is now over. Much of this section is about thinking ahead, something it is always good to do. Yes, it is a major achievement to start a fresh expression, but have you thought ahead to where it might be going? Do you have a plan, with values, actions and goals? As Mike Moynagh writes:

Why not pause and ask yourselves, "What do we hope this venture will look like in six months, a year, two years or five years' time, or perhaps longer?" "What are our hopes and dreams for this vision as it unfolds?" Dreaming dreams for your vision could be one of the most exciting parts of preparing for a fresh expression.

My own thinking ahead involves developing learning networks on Share (more on this in the New Year). If you want to read my current thoughts, as well as further short articles by my colleagues in The Sheffield Centre, have a look at the very first issue of The Sheffield Centre's twice-yearly Research Bulletin.

If it is still Advent when you are reading this, I hope you have a very happy and blessed Christmas. If Christmas is over, and the leftover turkey has long disappeared, may your thinking ahead to 2008 bring you all that you wish and hope for.

What is a church? (Steven Croft)

Steven Croft asks, what is a church?

Here is a game to play with your home group, your PCC or over dinner with some Christian friends. You could even adapt it for a sermon. The aim is to help you think more deeply about what it means to be church.

Manchester churchIt's a vital question, whether you are aiming to grow an existing church or develop a fresh expression. Before you can create or develop something you have to have some idea what it is. Imagine building a car without realising that it needs an engine, trying to put up a house without foundations or baking bread without yeast. All of us in some way are involved in building the church as part of our discipleship. Yet many Christians would be more familiar with the essential elements in a victoria sponge than they are with the really essential elements in a church. 

You will need to make sure everyone has a copy of the list in the box below and a pen. Ask the group to break into pairs and go through the different attributes. If you have plenty of time, invite people to:

  1. Circle the elements which you would you say are essential to form a church
  2. Underline the elements which are desirable and helpful
  3. Delete the elements which are unhelpful
  4. Leave unmarked the elements which are neutral or depend on context
  5. Feel free to add other essential elements

When you have been through the lists, compare your answers.

If you are short of time then just concentrate on the first task: see if you can reach a short list you can agree on in terms of the essential elements in forming a church.

Pews A font/baptistry Sunday worship
Ordained ministers Communion vessels Committees
Hymn books A photocopier Small groups
People Guitars Instant coffee
A building The risen Christ The Scriptures
A pulpit Sacraments Food
Printed Bibles Bishops A choir
An organ Connection and oversight Robes
A data projector Common Worship Mission to God's world 
Prayer meetings Lay ministers  

As I've played this game with different groups over the last six months, I have come to believe that just three elements are part of the essence of what it means to be the church. They come up in every set of responses. My answers are in the box at the bottom of the page. Resist the temptation to read them until you've at least had a go at the game yourself. I may be wrong! I also believe that three other elements are essential to maintain and build a healthy community. Everything else is either desirable, merely convenient or helpful or not according to context.

It is often the non-essential elements of church which take up so much time and energy

You may or may not agree with my answers (and please let me know). However, what often emerges from the exercise is surprising agreement about these elements and a realisation that it is often the non-essential elements which take up so much time and energy.

The second part of the game is to begin to explore more deeply how we decide what is right and wrong about the life of the church. A good way to begin is to invite people to suggest their own key verses for thinking about the life of the Christian community. Where do they go in Scripture and in the Christian tradition for thinking about what it means to be the people of God?

There is no right answer here. In fact, the more places we look, the more our understanding grows. The more we look, the more we discover that our understanding of the church can't be contained by just one proof text or just one summary of Christian teaching (such as the marks of the church in the creed). But here, to finish, is one key passage which I continue to find helpful.

Bible and handIn Mark 3.14 we read of Jesus' call of the twelve disciples. This is a passage which speaks hints of new Israel: it is deliberately about the forming of a new community. Mark has distilled the essential elements of what it means to be the community of disciples – the beginnings of the church. What are the essential elements?

'And he appointed twelve, whom he also named apostles, to be with him, and to be sent out…'

The essence of being church according to Mark is people being called by Jesus to live in the rhythm of being with Christ and being sent. If you read on in the verse you discover what we are sent to do: to proclaim the good news and to overcome evil in the world.

This is the kind of community we are called to become and to build.

My own answers to the game:

Three essential elements in being the church: people, the risen Christ and mission to God's world.

Three essential elements to sustain the church: the Scriptures; the sacraments and connection and oversight.

When is a Circuit a Mission Circuit? (Martin Keenan)

Martin KeenanMartin Keenan asks when a Circuit is a Mission Circuit.

A recent article on Share suggested that pioneers need to move on to allow the new church to stand on its own feet. I agree with this as long as the reasons for moving are God's reasons and not denominational reasons. Having moved on from my previous church almost a year ago, I have been thinking about what that means from a pioneer's viewpoint.

When I was first looking for the next step, I saw several Circuit profiles which stated that the Circuit in question had the beginnings of a fresh expression of church. These looked appealing, but on closer inspection it seemed as though the work was already being done and the potential new minister, while encouraging the fresh expression, was expected to look after the rest of the work on the Circuit.

So I looked for other Circuits. 

The result is that I am now in the North of Scotland Mission Circuit looking after six churches. This one appealed because the Circuit name suggests mission. Ten months into it and, to be honest, I'm not sure whether we are breaking advertising standards! 

To the west, our only neighbour is the Inverness Circuit which does have a fresh expression. Our Circuit goes as far east as it's possible to go, to Peterhead, where my wife and I have given the church a session on running Messy Church. In the early days of July, the first Messy Church in Peterhead Methodist will begin. 

What does it mean to be a Mission Circuit in The Methodist Church?

The 'capital city' of the Circuit is Aberdeen and I have offered to run the mission shaped intro course there, but my six churches are on the Moray Coast and things are different here in what are the most northerly mainland Methodist churches.

Evangelism happens through Alpha. I am running it in two churches and since last September there have been seven converts. An idea still prevails that young people are not interested any more, but we'll leave the light on in case they decide to come in. There is also a general concern about how to 'get people in'. 

I have been running a Bible study for the six churches for the past nine months looking at Acts and Paul's letters, tracing the growth of the church at the beginning and giving ideas of how we can change and develop into a Mission Circuit. It is not producing anything yet, but there is a growing sense of optimism.

I have to say that I find it frustrating. I still remember my first service in September, having to prepare by opening Hymns & Psalms and not remembering what to do. And then having to incorporate 'modern' songs from Mission Praise! I nearly gave up in despair before I started.

But I am used to pipe organs and pews now. I'm hoping for a 21st century revival – this is the area that has seen the most revival in Scotland – but I hope when it happens next time that it will be a fresh expression of revival. Here's hoping (and praying).

Why am I here? A pioneering pioneer for URC (Janet Sutton)

Janet SuttonJanet Sutton explains what she is doing as the first URC pioneer minister.

I am the URC's first pioneer minister, working in the field of fresh expressions and emerging church. My role is to explore the potential relationship between the reformed tradition and the emerging church, and to facilitate emerging Christian communities in this part of the country.

The South Western Synod of the URC is made up of 130 churches covering Cornwall, Devon, Somerset, Wiltshire, Bristol and parts of Dorset, and Gloucestershire. Cullompton already has a vibrant institutional church life, and my mission is certainly not to impact negatively on that. So where does my mission lie?

That mission is to the people who would never think of going to church: who have left church and decided not to go back, or have explored other ways of expressing their spirituality; or have never considered the possibility that church (or even Jesus Christ) might be relevant to them.

On the estate where I live, most of the adult residents get in their car first thing in the morning, drive to work for the day, come home (possibly via Tesco's), go in, shut their doors, and that's it. If church is about community, and there is no sense or understanding of being community, where do we start?

If church is about community, and there is no sense or understanding of being community, where do we start?

It has to be by creating community. The precursor to that is creating relationship – and that is where I have started. It is slow work, and it can be frustrating. Prayers for this ministry are needed more than ever – for our strategy of hospitality in growing community on the estate, for my call to mission among people interested in alternative spiritualities, and for the new shoots of growth developing through community engagement.

I have been accepted to work in the prison at Exeter as a Community Chaplain but the clearance process can take for ever. More prayer! That everything may go smoothly and God will give me patience as I wait.

Things are gradually starting to happen and I'm particularly grateful for the conversations beginning to take place, at Cullompton Film Club, in the pub, on the street and during my endless dog walks. It's very early days but an exciting time. Watch this space!

Just a rumour (Susan Bowden-Pickstock)

Susan Bowden-PickstockSusan Bowden-Pickstock sniffs out a rumour.

For the past two years I have been undergoing ordination training at Ridley Hall Theological College. This was not a direction I expected to take in life, but I found ordination a lot easier to pursue once I had heard of pioneer training.

I have always worked in the secular world and really enjoyed it. I don't come from a Christian background and, despite committing myself to pursuing my own relationship with God from a very early age, as an adult I found a disconnect with the Christian subculture. I wanted to be able to take my faith seriously and live in the world, enjoying most of what human culture was producing – and to me this is what a good fresh expression of church is involved in. However, in the 1970s and early '80s there was no such thing and I was more than content to remain outside full-time Christian work.

Now, 20 years on and with careers in both nursing and broadcasting behind me, I am at the end of my training for ministry. It's still a slightly odd place to find myself, but it is the right place. I find myself reflecting on some of the many things I have learnt over the last two years and I'm more and more convinced that what we need to get away from in the church is dualism – the sort of spirituality that Augustine was surrounded by and unsurprisingly fell into to an extent. By the way, I do love Augustine's 'Confessions' which is one of the freshest and most beautiful pieces of Christian writing in our wider canon.

I wanted to be able to take my faith seriously and live in the world, enjoying most of what human culture was producing – and to me this is what a good fresh expression of church is involved in

What I mean by dualism is the mindset that says what we need to pursue is the spiritual and not the earthly, the sort of thinking that as a teenager I was encouraged to adopt with phrases such as: 'Be in the world but not of it'. That was a great favourite with our youth leaders I remember.

I want to shout back over the years, 'What good is that? How is that thinking going to relate me to my non-churchgoing neighbour? What does that give me in common with anyone except like-minded believers? By adopting it, how much am I missing of God's valid and divinely-loved creation and all that his creatures have done to express their divinely-cherished humanity?'

Clearly I could preach on this!

My final question: Would fresh expressions and pioneer work have even been needed if we had not been so heavenly minded that we were no earthly good? Perhaps I am being harsh but, as good pioneer disciples, one of the mantras we have learnt to chant is: 'Find where God is and join in'. Rumour has it that God enjoys creativity, the outdoors, film and literature and art, human striving for excellence, everything that builds community, laughter, love, adventure…

How to avoid Star Trek pioneering (John Pickles)

John PicklesJohn Pickles wants to know how to avoid Star Trek pioneering.

My first idea for a blog subject was to talk about several events that I have organised which brought church and community together – and so begin the train of thought about emerging church. Then I would have moved on to look at the things we need to have in place to move towards fresh expressions. However, subsequent events linked with a project in my area made me think again.

So, new topic:

To not just be good, but to be great, we must be organic. To be organic, time must be our primary concern.

When we talk about being pioneers we can think of people exploring the Wild West, but we imagine it in terms of Westerns on TV – a world of 'life, but with the boring bits cut out'. Or to think of it another way, I like to call it Star Trek Pioneering. This is to boldly go, have lots of activity and crises, and somehow come to a passable resolution despite having lost half the crew – before moving on to the next frantic episode!

Star Trek Pioneering is a danger for:

  • those of us acting as pioneers in our communities because we can live from moment to moment without breath or reason;
  • onlookers – because they expect more than we can deliver;
  • witness – like a funhouse mirror we don't necessarily reflect reality but can become contorted as we try to live out/escape the dream/nightmare (please delete as appropriate)!
The boring bits have to happen. Like a plant growing, we must move at the appropriate pace.

The boring bits have to happen. Time has to be a factor in our efforts. Like a plant growing, we must move at the appropriate pace. In the book by Kosuke Koyama, 3 Mile an Hour God, the author comments that we need to reclaim a faith that moves at walking speed.

In a world filled with cars and planes and time poverty, it is easy for us to run ahead of God. The reality is that many projects have died because people have overstretched themselves, their teams and their resources. This is especially true when we are succeeding. We need to breathe. And our breath needs to be the air of the Holy Spirit. As we grow, like plants, we need to place roots too. For us to be effective pioneers, we need to have support from others who are settlers. And especially as the great pioneer of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit, rests on the Father, the great settler, so we too need to rest on him.

When we are not being intentional with our timing we cause others to view us unrealistically. I have seen many youthwork projects become sidelined and then dropped because they have not succeeded in attracting 300 children in their first six months of operation. Likewise, I have seen a number of fledgling groups lose effectiveness because of split focus. They divided and were conquered.

As plants, we have to let Jesus, the ultimate gardener, work on us. This means we have to live with questions that cannot be answered, prune where needed and take time.

When we use time appropriately we can be organic in our approach. We stop being a contorted mirror and begin reflecting the reality of God. In my experience, when this happens everything will still feel incredibly frantic but it will not be a burden, good will become great, sustainability happens and newness is present in the mundane.

It’s time to let go (Paul Bradbury)

Paul BradburyPaul Bradbury asks whether it's time to let go.

This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how.

Mark 4.26-27

I am exploring a language to describe a mission and ministry that is organic. When I go back to the gospels in order to shape my approach to mission I find simple parables filled with organic metaphors. I do not find a Jesus driven by a strategic vision or a plethora of programmes. I find a humble nomad content to carry out his ministry at the edges, amongst the unwanted, and to give his full attention to individuals of little importance.

Tom Wright makes this observation on the organic parable of Mark 4 (verses above) – that the seed and the man are doing the same thing. Organic life starts with a seed. Organic ministry starts by doing the same thing as the seed, namely dying. Abraham, the archetypal missionary of God, dies when he is called to leave everything and venture into the unknown with the promise that God would show him where to go. The missionary people of God only really find their true selves when they willingly let go of the architecture of their own self-importance and look for God in places where they are not in control. True incarnational mission is therefore nomadic in nature. We have no home. We are not at the centre of anywhere. We are drawn by the Spirit of God into the unknown, the desert, the territory of strangers, because that is where God is.

The Mission-shaped Church report was originally titled 'Dying to Live'. Withdrawn for fear of possible headlines about the church's demise, 'Dying to Live' nevertheless does much better in getting to root of how to be a missional people of God. We have to begin by dying. We might worry less about the future of the church and focus instead on the mission of God and where we might be called to participate in it.

Alan Roxburgh talks of the 'ecclesiocentric trap', the myopic approach to mission that starts with church – doing it better, doing it differently, doing it like the churches that are doing it better than we are. Church will shape its mission more authentically when it dies to the church it has become, or the one it wants to be, and stops long enough to really listen to the gospel, to the community around it and to God's Spirit.

We have to begin by dying – we might worry less about the future of the church and focus instead on the mission of God and where we might be called to participate in it

Over the past two years, Reconnect, the missional community I am involved in, have found ourselves hosted in much of what we do by a small independent café. I have an office there. We have been meeting at the café, and lots of other groups and networks use it as a hub for relationship building. I was beginning to think this was our home. We could use it to run all sorts of stuff, and with a worshipping community using the place on Sundays, a strategy for church growth began to emerge in my imagination.

But the café recently went out of business… a small footnote in the story of economic recession and the globalised nature of our coffee culture. We are homeless it seems. All our plans seem to have been put on hold. Except that what we have invested in primarily is not a place, but a set of relationships and a set of values. These are highly portable; they can morph at will and find a new home. The morning after the news of the café's demise went out there was a knock at our door. A lady who comes to one of the groups we run offered to see if it could be housed in the communal lounge of the sheltered housing unit she lives in. Only that would mean we would have to make it open to all the residents there! So out of dying comes the potential for new relationships, new life.